It was one of the hardest events I had ever experienced. I sat stooped in my closet in between hangers of clothes above me and rows of shoes under me. I was tucked away in my bedroom which was all the way on the other side of the house and although it was 15+ years ago I remember very clearly in that dark closet talking to myself and crying my eyes out. My eyes were bloodshot red and my face felt as swollen as a woman in her ninth month of pregnancy. But by the time I walked out of closet and then my room I was just fine. I wouldn’t shed a tear and I would just be strong for everybody else.
I was young then and unable to truly reflect. Fast forward some years later a dear aunt of mine passed and (although I’m not the emotional type) I was quite emotional and I drew five major conclusions from her passing that I believe can help anyone become a better person as well as enjoy life to its fullest. So many people focus on the evils and the bad things that occur in the world then it becomes their focus. Sure there are a lot of those things but there’s ALWAYS the opposite. Where there’s good there’s bad and the good thing is there so much richness to life if you live it well enough you can literally die knowing you experienced the best that it had to offer. Here are my five life conclusions after death:
NUMBER ONE: Everyone who is in your life has an effect on you. Sometimes people come into your life at certain seasons to strengthen you and push you closer to your destiny but others come in and wreak total chaos. I’ve always had a relationship with my aunt but when I relocated to Atlanta we were able to get back together and she entered into my life again at a time that I really needed her. (If perhaps someone has entered into your life and caused chaos be sure to properly process through that relationship and seek forgiveness).
NUMBER TWO: Life will never give you anything; you got to get it yourself (with God’s help). It’s unfortunate that so many people are lazy when it comes to life. It’s almost like they expect or require life to do certain things for them and that’s not how it works. Life only gives you what you put into it and literally you reap what you sow. In other words if you want good things to come out you got to do good things and you’ve got put in the work and make life what you want it to be.
NUMBER THREE: Death also breeds life. It’s amazing how after my aunt passed it brought new life into me. I decided not be upset about her passing but rather take some of the better qualities of her that I saw and begin to expand on them all the while letting them shine all the more.
NUMBER FOUR: Everyone will not accept you. It is a fact that humans are born with the innate desire to be loved by everyone but it’s a false illusion. The illusion is this: not everybody is going like you, not everyone is going to “get” you and not everyone is going to understand you. The only person I have ever found to truly get me is God (to be honest there are instances when I don’t even get me) but since He created me He knows me better. When I seek Him I’m able to understand things and qualities about myself that either need to be dealt with or I need to be free in and allow others to see because it’s those qualities that will bring in and draw the right people to me.
NUMBER FIVE: Cherish the relationships in your life. In this season of my life it has been revealed that relationships are so important and I keep harping on them [on the blog] but it’s what makes life rich and valuable. To live life with people that you actually love and that love you is a wonderful aspect of life though it is overlooked every day. There are the people that you share your experiences with, the ones you make experiences with, the ones you compare experiences with and the ones you MAKE your experience of life all the more better. Love those people and let them know you love them.
I remember my mentor sharing a story about someone that had been in his life for a long time and she told him gushingly how much she loved him and was grateful that he was in her life. He couldn’t figure out what the big deal was. He asked her ‘why are you saying this’ and she said ‘because I don’t want to day to go by without you knowing that I love you and treasure you’. The next day she died. But she left a mark so indelible upon his heart that the people that he loves now know that he loves them.
That is the biggest lesson I learned after death; what makes life worthwhile is having & creating loving and fulfilling relationships.